Bad Hair Days and Other Misadventures
|by Suzie Johnson|
If you’ve never had a bad hair day, consider yourself lucky, and
reading now I’m so happy for you. Not.
One of the things on my bucket list is to have just one good hair day in my life. Okay, maybe that’s exaggerating, but not by much.
One day in late spring, on impulse, I stopped in a salon in Seattle. The stylist knew exactly what to do with my hair, leaving me to hope there’d be more than one good hair day in my future. About two months later, I stopped in the same salon, only to be informed that the stylist’s last day was yesterday. Lizzy (not her real name) said she’d be happy to help me.
Okay, I know. That should have been my second clue. And really, how many clues does a girl need when it comes to important things like hair?
When Lizzy returned, she so graciously handed me the clue that should have sent me racing out the door. Unfortunately I didn’t, and Lizzy made the first snip with her scissors as these words fell from her lips, “Cute glasses. I always forget to wear mine. I usually wear contacts. I’ve noticed I get better tips when I wear them.”
Could I just say right now that I was trying to be nice and give a young girl the benefit of the doubt? Oh, and did I forget to mention I wasn’t wearing my glasses at the moment? Lizzy asked me to place them on the counter so they wouldn’t be in her way. It wasn’t long before I wondered if there was another reason why she didn’t want me wearing my glasses.
The first thing I noticed when Lizzy handed me a mirror was that my hair was longer on the right than the left. No problem. Lizzy promptly trimmed it up until it was longer on the left than the right. But I could fix that myself. No need to make the poor stylist feel bad.
And yes, I left a tip.
Unfortunately, I noticed a few oddities the next morning. Not only was my hair still a little longer on the left side, I had dozens of scraggles hanging down from the underside of my hair. But that wasn’t the worst of it. My bangs were cut in a line so straight Lizzy must have used a ruler while I couldn’t see what she was doing. Unfortunately, that straight line went in a diagonal from the top right of my forehead to the outer corner of my left eyebrow.
To make it worse, the right side of my bangs has more cowlicks than I can count. Those were
highlighted nicely still there.
Clearly they don’t have as many bad hair days as I do. Bangs grow when they want to. Not when you want them to.
Oh, and did I mention this was just about four weeks ago? Two weeks before I leave for a writer’s conference I’m planning to attend? Yup. One side hasn’t quite caught up with the other. Perhaps, sometime during the next two weeks, a hair miracle will happen.
Does anyone know of a “Miracle Grow” for hair?
If you’re planning to attend the same conference, please, whatever you do, don’t notice my hair.
Also, if you’re shopping for evening wear, I have it on good authority you should never pull a Spandex camisole over your head. For those not in the know, once it makes it over your head, it snaps and rolls and tries to squeeze you tighter than a boa constrictor before you can even blink – leaving you to stand helpless in a department store fitting room with your arms straight up in the air while you panic and try to figure out how to get yourself out of this newest pickle.
|Looks innocent, doesn't it?|
Don't believe it!
True North, Suzie Johnson’s second novel, will be released in January, 2014. Her first novel, No Substitute, a contemporary inspirational novel, is out now from White Rose Press of The Pelican Book Group. She is a regular contributor to the Inkwell Inspirations blog, a member of ACFW, RWA, and is the cancer registrar at her local hospital. Suzie and her husband live in the Pacific Northwest with their naughty little cat on an island that is definitely not tropical. Together, they are the parents of a wonderful grown son who makes them proud every day – even though he lives way too far away. You can visit Suzie at the following places: