Comments on Inkwell Inspirations: Infected by Grief

Thanks for this excellent, well-thought-out post, ...

2012-02-01T11:47:02.453-05:00

Thanks for this excellent, well-thought-out post, Niki. I'll be relieved when all the tears are wiped away in this life, and we don't need to deal with grief any longer.

Thanks, Susie. I know they'll appreciate the ...

2012-01-27T16:14:22.750-05:00

Thanks, Susie.
I know they'll appreciate the prayers!

Gina, you're absolutely right. There is not on...

2012-01-27T16:13:30.749-05:00

Gina, you're absolutely right. There is not one "right" way to grieve. I don't even think we can expect to grieve the same way or go through exactly the same process each time we encounter loss.
One more reason it's so important to have that living connection with Jesus! Life doesn't come in cookie cutter format.

Your daughter cracks me up. What a joy she must be for you!

Niki, what a powerful post. It hit me between the ...

2012-01-27T16:08:01.543-05:00

Niki, what a powerful post. It hit me between the eyes...

So sorry to hear about the church secretary. I'll pray for her family. Suzie, I've been praying for your pastor's family. God is holding them in His arms.

Niki, I used to think I understood grief. After al...

2012-01-27T16:04:42.013-05:00

Niki, I used to think I understood grief. After all, I'd lost two grandparents and a grandparent-in-law during my late teens and early twenties. Then when my mother-in-law unexpectantly passed away two days before Thanksgiving, I realized I really hadn't known grief.

Grief is that feeling of somethign isn't right. It's deep. It hurts sometimes to the point of wishing for death. So I understand how David could write a psalm about the ache in his bones.

After we returned home from the funeral, I googled stages of grief. I got angry becuase I knew those stages didn't describe how I felt.

Best advice I read was don't fight the tears. Seems like I spent December crying.

Earlier this week my youngest asked me if our dog was going to die. I said someday. She wailed. Oh how she missed him. The dog and I gave her this tilted head, raised eyebrow, half-frown look. Umm, the dog wasn't dead yet. Not even sick.

She then kindly informed me she was practicing for when he did die but she didn't want him to die so she cried more and I just let her. Then her tears dried and she said, "But he'll be my dog in heaven." I told her she'd probably have to come visit my house because I was pretty sure I would be his person as much in the new Heaven and new Earth as I am on this one. She was fine with that.

There's not one right way to grieve.

But your post excellently showed we don't have to go through grief alone. Jesus knows exactly how we feel. Thank you, Niki, for writing this.

xoxoxo
g

DeAnna, that is an extremely important point about...

2012-01-27T15:36:41.536-05:00

DeAnna, that is an extremely important point about it being OK to recover and move on. So many people are stricken with guilt if they start to feel better and it creates a place for the bad kind of grief and mourning to get in and swamp them.

Wow. What a truly lovely post. This is great: G...

2012-01-27T14:52:09.498-05:00

Wow. What a truly lovely post.

This is great: Grief is neither to be feared, nor revered.
It is never to be worshiped.

It's so true that some people make idols of their grief. (The hero in my first book did, for sure!) Yes, there's a time for mourning. We need it. But there's a time for joy, too. It's not WRONG to recover. Recovery doesn't diminish the love you had for whomever you're greiving.

Thanks, Suzie!

2012-01-27T13:50:00.198-05:00

Thanks, Suzie!

Dina, having healthy examples is such a blessing! ...

2012-01-27T13:49:47.299-05:00

Dina, having healthy examples is such a blessing! And probably where good grief counseling would come into play for those who haven't had those examples.

I agree with you about losing people who aren't believers. That's so hard to bear.

Hugs back at you, Niki. I'll be praying for th...

2012-01-27T12:35:59.271-05:00

Hugs back at you, Niki. I'll be praying for the daughters, family and friends of the church secretary. {{{Niki}}}

"Grieving — mourning loss — is a natural, nor...

2012-01-27T11:52:23.747-05:00

"Grieving — mourning loss — is a natural, normal part of the process of life. What's not natural or normal is when the spirit of grief is permitted to infiltrate our spirits, souls, and bodies like some kind of toxic mold"

That is the perfect summation, Niki. My family has given me such great examples about grief that it's never been a big issue for me. Yes, we've had tragic losses, including my brother who died of SIDS and an uncle who was hit by a train. But we never let those things weight us down for the long term.

I think the harder thing than physical death for me can be the death of a dream or a relationship. Simply because you don't have the same comfort that can come knowing you'll see someone later and that they're happy in heaven.

Now if you lose someone who isn't a believer...wow, I've never experienced that. I can't imagine.

Aw, Suzie, I know that's been heavy on your he...

2012-01-27T09:44:30.105-05:00

Aw, Suzie, I know that's been heavy on your heart this week. Our dear friends, pastors of a sister church, lost their church secretary to cancer this week. She has kids that are the same age as mine, daughters, and I've been thinking of them, too. It's SO important that we do as Jesus did: take that burden and give it to the Father, for He is the only one equipped to carry it. ((HUGS))

Deb, absolutely true. Not allowing ourselves to gr...

2012-01-27T09:41:16.351-05:00

Deb, absolutely true. Not allowing ourselves to grieve, to go through the process, is as unhealthy as letting it take over. I think that's where the Holy Spirit (and some godly counsel) come it, to help us move through the valley, instead of camping out in it.

Thank you, Laurie Alice, for stopping by!

2012-01-27T09:37:30.640-05:00

Thank you, Laurie Alice, for stopping by!

Oh. Niki. This could not have come at a better ti...

2012-01-27T09:14:25.007-05:00

Oh. Niki.

This could not have come at a better time. It's so very comforting to read this today. My heart has been so heavy for two precious little girls who became orphans just last Friday.

Thank you for this, dear friend.

One thing I can add is that Grief does consume us ...

2012-01-27T05:56:43.680-05:00

One thing I can add is that Grief does consume us for a time, where we lose everything else, and is probably proportional to the loss. I think of it as feeling sure you'll never laugh again--the verses really do reflect that.

I hope anyone who is experiencing a debilitating grief finds competent biblical counseling. And healing. Because it's real and like any other feeling/emotion we have, the enemy would love to use it to make us ineffective.
Thanks Niki.

now... have a great weekend everyone!

Thank you, Niki, that was a wonderful post to read...

2012-01-27T04:22:39.050-05:00

Thank you, Niki, that was a wonderful post to read first thing in the morning.