The Perfect Woman -- Not!

by C.J. Chase

I’ve been having a crazy week. Or maybe I should say, a crazy month. And it’s not going to end for another two weeks, at which point I will be madly trying to make up for lost time on my writing schedule since I have a book under contract. Book? But I’ve been too busy being an author this month to be a writer! Don't worry. I can do it all. Really. 

Ah, life in 21^st century America. It was this very busyness that got me to thinking about the Bible’s two women I most love to hate.

The first is an easy choice: Jezebel. She was pretty much pure, unrepentant evil. Who cannot find her actions—the murder of hundreds (that we know of, perhaps many more we don’t)—abhorrent? Jezebel wrote the royal rules of acquisition: what is mine is mine and what is yours is mine.

Actually, if I’m honest, I might have to admit that maybe I secretly like Jezebel. When I consider Jezebel, my sins just pale next to hers and my self-esteem increases by a factor of three. Hey, I may make my “mistakes,” but at least I’m not malevolent like her. I mean well. Mostly. I guess I’m a pretty good person after all, right?

While pride led to the downfall of Bette Davis' character in the 1938 movie, unlike her Biblical namesake, this Jezebel repented of her ways

Of course, comparisons are exactly what I avoid with that pesky perfect woman from Proverbs 31. You remember the one. She’s the perfect wife to her husband (31:12). She’s the homeschooling mom (31: 26) with multiple businesses—farmer (31:16), merchant (31:18), seamstress (31:24). Oh, and don’t forget her works of charity (31:20). And that doesn’t even include the things she does around the house like her home cooked meals (31:15) and hand-crafted home fashions (31:22).

You know, I really don’t like that woman. Not because she does evil, but because she makes me feel inadequate.

We just celebrated Easter two weeks ago. It’s so easy to vilify the priests, elders, and teachers who wanted to see Jesus killed at any cost. And yet, aren’t they so easy to understand, even to relate to? I might find the ideal of Proverbs 31 too much to live up to, but imagine actually seeing and hearing the real live Jesus walking among you. Yikes! Try comparing yourself to that. Talk about a blow to your ego.

And so instead of seeing God’s grace in Jesus, they saw the threat to their pride.

Pride is sometimes called “the mother of all sins” because it leads us to commit so many others. We disobey God’s commands because we know better. We covet because we want to have better “stuff” than anyone else. We lie to make ourselves look better in the eyes of others. Yep, most of God’s top 10 list has a root in pride.

Take Adam and Eve. They wanted to be like God. Pride. Or Cain, so offended because God didn’t accept his offering that he killed his brother. Pride. The builders of the Tower of Babel wanted to “make a name” for themselves. Pride. And I’m only to Genesis chapter 11.

God has some strong words about pride. “When pride comes, then comes disgrace,” (Proverbs 11:2). “He mocks proud mockers, but gives grace to the humble” (Proverbs 3:34). “And those who walk in pride, he is able to humble” (Daniel 4:37).

Pride lets me feel self-righteous when I compare myself to a Jezebel—or pretty much anyone I consider a greater “sinner” than I. Pride makes me resentful when I compare myself to those women who seem to have it all and do it all, without even breaking a sweat—as if there are any “perfect” women out there. (Irony of irony, the same pride that makes me want to convince everyone I am that ideal woman makes me ugly, inside and out.) No matter what you do, you're going to be on the wrong side of my pride because pride is all about keeping me at the center of the universe.

Worst of all, it puts up a barrier between God and me, just like all those examples from the Bible. How many times do I, like the religious leaders of Jesus’ day, miss God’s blessings—blessings he puts right in front of me—because of pride?

Ouch.
 

You know, maybe being at the center of the universe isn't worth all that.

Does your pride sometimes lead you to try to be the "perfect" woman? 



After leaving the corporate world to stay home with her children, C.J. Chase quickly learned she did not possess the housekeeping gene. She decided writing might provide the perfect excuse for letting the dust bunnies accumulate under the furniture. Her procrastination, er, hard work paid off in 2010 when she won the Golden Heart for Best Inspirational Manuscript and sold the novel to Love Inspired Historicals. Her next book, The Reluctant Earl, will be out in early 2013. You can visit C.J.'s cyber-home (where the floors are always clean) at cjchasebooks.com