My current Event for 2012 - Turning the Big 4-0
by Becky Wade
I probably don't know a single one of you face-to-face and personally, but nonetheless, I'm going to trust you with my age. I'm 40, ladies. I peaked a few months ago, officially went 'over the hill', and am now on the downward slope toward an empty nest, retirement, and... the grave.
Here's some non-calendar evidence to support the fact that I'm getting older: I enjoy dark chocolate. I don't like thong underwear. I don't want to get my hair wet in the pool, and I definitely won't consider slip n slides or cartwheel attempts. My skincare regimen is expensive, my hair coloring bills more so. I'm starting to like 60 Minutes. My earring holes have become earring slits. My rump is growing wider without an invitation from me to do so. Last time I came down with body aches and fever my mother-in-law suggested that it might be menopause.
Twenty years ago, I was (before I had kids) an excellent mother. I planned on allowing my children to wear whatever they wanted to express their creativity, giving them undivided attention, and doing a lot of baking. Turns out that I don't care to be embarrassed by my children publically and instead want them to look presentable. Undivided attention is a kind of statistical impossibility with three kids and a high maintenance husband. And baking with children creates big messes that moms have to clean.
Twenty years ago, I was (before I plunged into the near-impossible work of crafting and publishing novels) an excellent author. I dreamed that my books would be met with adoration and bestselling success. Turns out that the secular romance novels I released to the world underwhelmed readers. My publisher said "no thanks" to my offer to write more books and God said "no thanks" to the kind of books I'd been writing.
Twenty years ago, I was (before three pregnancies and lots of sun on my face) cuter. Turns out I, well.... aged.
Reality, time, and experience -- the challenge of actually doing the work of our lives -- has a way of bringing the truth to the surface. But you know what?
It turns out that I'm cool with 40. I'm making my peace with it.
For one thing, I'm seriously grateful for the months and days God has given me. If I hadn't made it to this milestone year, I wouldn't have seen my babies grow. God wouldn't have had time to introduce me to the kind of books He meant all along for me to pen (contemporary inspirational romances) and thus I wouldn't have experienced the soaring joy of writing for His glory. If I'd hadn't hit 40 I might never have understood that, hey, a body has earned the right to sag when it's weathered as many years and demands as mine has.
So picture me lifting my grande-sized skinny latte. Here's to the downward slope! I can't wait to see what God has in store.
Willing to share a piece of evidence that proves you're getting older? How did your expectations of yourself as a wife, mother, working person differ from the reality that unfolded?
During her childhood in California, Becky frequently produced homemade plays starring her sisters, friends, and cousins. These plays almost always featured a heroine, a prince, and a love story with a happy ending. She's been a fan of all things romantic ever since.
Becky and her husband lived overseas in the Caribbean and Australia before settling in Dallas, Texas. It was during her years abroad that Becky's passion for reading turned into a passion for writing. She published three historical romances for the general market, put her career on hold for several years to care for her kids, and eventually returned to writing sheerly for the love of it. Her first contemporary Christian romance, My Stubborn Heart, has just been released by Bethany House.
These days Becky can be found failing but trying to keep up with her housework, sweating at the gym, carting her kids around town, playing tennis, hunched over her computer, eating chocolate, or collapsed on the sofa watching TV with her husband.
You can visit Becky's website at http://www.beckywade.com
You can visit Becky's website at http://www.beckywade.com
great post Becky!ReplyDelete
forty-ish is a pretty popular age around here. It sounds like you accepted forty better than I did (and oh how I'd like to look like forty again!). But I must claim fifty to be the most freeing age ever! (okay I'm well past that now lest you think I just hit that big hill)
Congratulations on going PUB! and thanks for visiting and making us smile!
Love the post, Becky! And so glad to see you over here hanging out with my friends at Inkwell Inspirations!ReplyDelete
I cried when I turned 20 because I thought it was all downhill after that. Little did I know that 40 would be awesome! The physical changes seem so trivial in light of the settledness I feel in my relationships, especially with the Lord. And now that I hear Deb say that 50 is even more freeing, I say "bring it on!"
That was adorable, Becky, and I totally relate. I'll be 42 next month. I didn't hate turning 40. I felt like I had achieved a lot of milestones for that age. I wanted my first book to be published, but was okay waiting until 41. 40 for me was a time of reflecting on the first half of my life and deciding where I wanted to, in some cases needed to, make changes before facing another 40 years. Besides, I say 40 isn't middle ages since I plan to live to 100.ReplyDelete
And...I did a cartwheel a few weeks ago for the sole purpose of seeing if I could...just sayin'.
Love this, Becky! I'll be 42 in June and could relate quite well to your non-calendar evidence. Except, well, I've gone cheaper with my skincare and stopped coloring my hair entirely this year.ReplyDelete
If anyone had told me where I would be today, and what would be going on in my life, and that I would be a grandmother... I would have run away screaming, but in truth, it's good. God knows me better than I know myself!
Oops. Add "senior moments" to my list. I'll be 42 in JULY, not June. *sigh*ReplyDelete
Becky, thank you for joining us today.ReplyDelete
I love this. I wish I could embrace aging so gracefully. My meltdowns were all on the five-year mark starting with 25. So my next one should be due in just over three years.
In June, not July.
Niki, you are way too funny.
Still smiling at this delightful post.ReplyDelete
I found getting past forty was incredibly liberating. I found I could truly be myself and not what I imagined I HAD to be. I found I didn't want to be that very young person who didn't know what she wanted or who she was. And I found God had a lot of pretty cool things in store for me even at my "advanced" age.
Wouldn't go back for the world!
Dina, I'm so glad you were still able to do a cartwheel. Though I never doubted for a moment!ReplyDelete
hmmm, i got married for the first time right before i turned 40. had my little guy right before i turned 41. guess i got a late start on a bunch of things.
i still feel like i'm somewhere in my late 20's early 30's. i play in a women's volleyball league with another lady who's pushing 70. i hope to be like her and still be playing at that age.
the funny thing with that is i look across the net with some teams and realize i've been playing volleyball longer than the "kid" across from me has been alive. nothing like that to keep things in perspective.
Thank you so much for inviting me to guest blog at Inkwell Inspirations, Suzie!ReplyDelete
Debra - I'm extremely happy to hear that 50 is freeing. I can imagine that's true.
Anne - love your comment about the 'settledness' you feel in your relationships.
Dina - SUPER impressed that you executed a cartwheel.
Niki - God truly does know us better than we know ourselves. Very well said, and something that I think aging helps to reveal.
Suzie - they say kids can go through challenging phases every birthday and half-birthday. Maybe the same is true for adult women (except every 5 years?!)
DeAnna - Yep, once I started truly being myself in my writing I found my groove and my delight.
DebH - As with Dina and her awe-inspiring cartwheel, I'm very impressed with you for having a baby at 41. I had my youngest at 37 and it nearly put me in the grave. You rock!
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.ReplyDelete
Oh, I broke my collar bone when I was nine.ReplyDelete
It was my first and last attempt to do a cartwheel. :D
Enjoying the comments!ReplyDelete
I never really answered your question, Becky. For me, the evidence i'm getting older is not good. it's not just gray hair and deeper wrinkles, but more aches and pains. what bothers me the most is my eyesight. Trying to read small print - I have three pairs of glasses I go through when working on the computer or reading. Ahh, to thread a needle without making a dismal number of attempts would be such a treat!
Great post. I definitely feel I've earned the bags under my eyes, even if I don't like them, LOL.ReplyDelete
How do I know I'm older? If I don't sit "right" then my back aches the next day. I need to make sure I eat lots of fruit. And I totally don't want to get my hair wet in the pool.
Thanks for the post, Becky!
Debra -I wear glasses for distance. The bright side is that glasses can sometimes double as a cute accessory, no? :) I bet yours make you look cool and smart.ReplyDelete
Susanne - My back has started (at times) to bother me, too! Now I know why there are so many ads around town for spinal care places. And I'm grinning that you can relate to my hair/pool issues.
Becky, I'm so glad you joined us today. I want to let everyone know I'm reviewing your book right here on Saturday!ReplyDelete
Okay, in all fairness, I was a gymnast and a cheerleader as a kid. But I haven't tried any sort of handspring in at least ten years.ReplyDelete