Friday, March 9, 2012

Finding Your Shape

by Gina Welborn
I got a haircut last week.

Fascinating, you say. No, not really, I answer. However I will admit that it'd been 18 months since my last haircut so I was rather in need of one.

I'd been thinking about getting my hair cut for about four months. The problem is, well, was that I really wasn't sure how I wanted my hair cut, so what was I to say to the beautician. Just a little off the ends? A 2012 Rachel? Surprise me?

Well, after we had a yard sale three weeks ago, in frustration (or maybe exhaustion), I cut four or five inches off the length. Not too shabby of a job I might say . . . as long as I kept my head at a slight angle. Take it from me, keeping one's head at an angle leads to odd questions from one's family. Usually the question is, "Mom, why are you looking at me like that?" Oh, honey, I'm awed with how you've grown. Then I'd smile.

Gullible children, sadly, do not make up for having uneven hair. Plus you can only smile so many times before people start asking what you're smiling about. Hello, questioning everything isn't a spiritual gift.

So after another week or so of pondering what hairstyle I wanted, I did some googling on "fabulous haircuts for women in their 40s." Armed with knowledge, I went to the salon and told the beautician, "Oh, surprise me!" No, really, I did. Uggh. Choosing a haircut is so difficult. That's why it took me 18 months to get another one. During my googling, I came across a fascinating webpage that the writer in me bookmarked.

According to Imagio Salon and Spa, "When designing a hairstyle, the goal is to create the illusion of an oval shaped face (the most perfect). The hair style we choose should fill in where needed and take away where not. Profile is another key factor when choosing a hairstyle. There should be balance from side and front view. Body shape works the same, our goal is to create the X shape and to also consider the size of the head if reference to the size of the body and height."

I immediately studied the pictures of face shapes. Which one is me? The only way to really tell is to pull hair back from face and observe. My first guess was chubby but chubby isn't a face shape. (Curse you, politically correct face shape definers!)

As I studied the shapes, what struck me was how no face shape seemed the perfect one, despite what so-called experts decried.

Confucius said, "Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it."

After the Oscars, I read commentary not on the winning performances but on the gowns. What was she thinking?! Please, sweetheart, go back and buy the other half of the gown. What saddened me the most wasn't J-Lo's "wardrobe malfunction," but the fact she established her importance on how sexy she looked. Each year she has to top (no pun intended) the last year's look. Other actressses have the same dilemma.

One of the traditions at the church I attend is that the Sunday after prom (and homecoming), the girls wear their gowns. I've literally stared gap-mouth at how skimpy some have been dressed. One girl's father was an executive officer at the International Mission Board, yet her parents allowed her to wear a gown that was designed to make guys stare and stare and stare. If she didn't want guys to stare, then why wear it?

I wanted to ask her if she chose that gown because it was the only type of dress she could buy or because she didn't value her own beauty to dress more modestly.

Everytime us moms stand in front of the mirror and criticize our face and figure, what are we teaching our daughters? Somehow I don't think we're teaching them that we're fearfully and wonderfully made.

Yet we are. Even more so, we're perfect.

"Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it."

You're beautiful, but do you see your own beauty? Do you see yourself as God sees you--perfect?

"Yet now he has reconciled you to himself through the death of Christ in his physical body. As a result, he has brought you into his own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault." ~Colossians 1:22
You are perfect. You are beautiful. Now choose to believe it.
Serious Question of the Day :: How have you learned to find beauty in who you are and not in what the world says is beautiful?
Non-Serious Questions of the Day :: According to Imagio, "Fashion and hairstyles have 5 year cycles. These cycles overlap, so, ask yourself: Do you change your look at the beginning of a new trend or do you wait until you see it on everyone before you change your look?" Gina adds, What face shape are you? (And since chubby can't count for me, it can't count for you either.) Has finding a flattering haircut been a struggle? When, really, was the last time you had a haircut that was more than a minor shape-up?
Years—okay, eons—ago, Gina Welborn worked in news radio scripting copy until she realized how depressing human tragedy was, so she took up writing romances and now only thinks “It is time for a dead body?” when she’s at a lull in her newest manuscript. This Oklahoma-raised gal now lives in Richmond, Virginia with her youth-pastor husband, their five Okie-Hokie children, and a Sharpador Retriever who doesn’t retrieve much of anything (but he can sit really well). Her first novella, “Sugarplum Hearts,” part of the HIGHLAND CROSSINGS anthology, is out now!!!! Her second novella, “All Ye Faithful,” in A CASCADES CHRISTMAS is available for pre-order.


  1. Are you sure chubby isn't a face shape? I guess I'd have to go with the closest then--round. I usually have a pretty good grasp on my self-esteem and not necessarily relating it to how I look. But there are times when I struggle. Not happy with my weight for sure, wondering why I can't be prettier, etc and so on. Luckily I'm so busy I can't wallow for long. I have to "carry on." One of these days I may do something drastic though...

  2. So where's the new do?

    The whole appearance thing is so ingrained in us, id be afraid to think what ive said aloud in all my days. Though I think my daughter has a healthy body image.

    I learned something a few months ago that stuck with me. When we compliment a little girl on how pretty she looks (which we all do when they are "dressed and bathed" ) we are setting them up to think that is a goal. But its the common way we converse with little girls. Boys get the same thing but they are just not wired the same way. They have other issues on masculinity instead, right?

  3. I have an oval face, but I think my head is a little small for my body, so I try to compensate with my hair.

    I agree that God made us beautiful, but quite frankly, I also believe we can mar that beauty through unhealthy living and eating. I know God is not responsible for the ten pounds of fat in my midsection currently undermining my health. I have our horrible American processed food diet to thank for that. But at least it's down from the twenty pounds of fat from a year ago.

  4. Lisa, I totally agree chubby should be a face shape. :-)

  5. Where's the new 'do? Ack. I thought about posting a pic but I looked rather scrubby yesterday. Maybe I'll add one tonight. Oldest son has a "beauty" pagent at school that he's participating in -- Mr. Deep Run. Since I'll have make-up on, I'll get hubby to take a quasi author photo.

    The beautician agreed with my "oh, keep it shoulder-length" requirement. But then she had so much fun cutting. Not as short as Niki's hair, though. Still, not quite shoulder-length. She must have whacked about six to seven inches off.

  6. Dina, you're right about marring our external beauty. But it's not just with food. For some crazy reason I can't explain, I've been receiving Ebony magazine. Well, occasionally there will be an article in there that's non-race specific so I can relate to. One article, though, talked about the craziness of how white girls tan to look darker and black girls bleach to look lighter.

    My thought: Neither behavior can be good for one's skin.

    Not that I'm anti-sunshine.

    Of course, I know people who are fanatically health conscious and they look and act miserable. I just want to give them a Krispy Kreme donut because, let's face it, it's impossible not to feel joy eating one.

    The misery comes when we eat to excess.

    Hubby's been doing this 1570-calorie-diet. He's down 12 lbs in 6 weeks. I don't want to live according to a calorie count, but I can see how paying somewhat attention to how much calories somethign is influences my food choices.

    It's like I say . . .

    Get up. Get active. Tomorrow.

  7. Just for interest sake, I would find absolutely zero joy in eating a Krispy Kreme donut right now. First I would feel nauseous and have horrible heart burn. A few hours later I'd be almost comatose, need to take a nap, and have pains in my gall bladder. By the evening my fingers would be filled with pin pricks. Learned that lesson the last time I tried to eat a few donut holes back in the fall. So not worth it!

  8. And where were you,Gina, last week when I was looking for a chart on face shapes, eh? Not only will I book mark yours, I'll copy it to OneNote since I really have trouble defining faces.

    My mom always said I had a round face, but when I look at the diagram, it shows a rounded hairline with a round face. My hairline juts forward at the temples - something I extremely dislike - so that puts me in the square division I guess.

    And although I really, really don't like my photo taken because I don't like looking at myself, I spent yesterday morning cleaning my office and prettying myself up. Then I set up the camera, placed my agent contract on my desk, set the timer, and spent the next 30 mins running back and forth between the documents and the camera snapping pics. I finally took one I liked - a partial smile showing a hint of teeth. Not too much glare on my glasses. Sitting straight, with a bit of neck stretch.

    For posterity, I now have a photo of me signing my agency contract because that's what the battle entailed... my dislike for being in front of the camera vs capturing the historic moment. Since I'm a historian by nature, how could I refuse.

  9. Anita, you do have a squarish face. My oldest son does too. Yet my girls all have an oval to heart shape.

  10. Well, for photos on VA this month, I suggest we stick to 'above the shoulder' shots, unless you want some 'anonymous' photo of middle aged spread and dangerous belly fat example from someone who has been abusing their temple.

    oh, and in this photo, which I don't like by the way, I'd say it looks like I have too much forehead, so now I have bangs.
    Roseanne RoseannaDanna style.

    The bigger the hair, the smaller you butt looks, right? If that was true, I'd be all set.

  11. I got my hair cut 4 months ago. I donated, so you can imagine how much I got taken off.

    But honestly, I don't look at my face shape when I'm trying to do something with my hair. I look at the type of hair I have. I just don't want to fuss trying to make it do something God never intended it to do (like be straight).

    I suppose at some point I'll have to get a new publicity photo since the one up there has me with really long hair, huh?

  12. Oh, forgot to say that Suzie and I are friends on Lose It and have a sort of challenge going. :)

    My problem is that my friends connection won't work on my iphone but it will on my laptop. Am contacting the company. As you can tell, until now, I didn't have any friends. (Going to the garden to eat worms... probably good protein, too.)

  13. I have a friend or two on Lose IT. be careful linking your ipod to the website. jeepers. It's one thing when you're going well, but to log in a year later and be up 8lbs is embarassing.

    meanwhile, one of my Lose It friends is doing great!

  14. Sigh. The whole body image/appearance thing is the bane of my existence. I'll limit my comments to the hairstyle thing, because discussing the grandma-fluff I've added in the last 10 months makes me depressed.

    I vacillate between thinking my face is round, heart-shaped, or oval. I covet long, curly hair, but will never have it. Like Dina, I don't feel like my head is the right size for my body, so I loved my short hair when I was super skinny, now I feel like the pinhead guy from Beetlejuice. Seriously considering buying a couple wigs...

  15. Pin Head. that just made me spray spit on my monitor screen.

    thanks Niki.
    I'm worried about vacay - I have pretty much been wearing sweat pants or pjs for three months...
    Bad enough but I also mix my plaids.

    Grandma fluff. that's it. I have three now, so I'm just trying to make more room on my lap. sure. that's it.

  16. I don't know what my face shape is. Long? Like a horse? I do know shorter hair looks better with my face shape, but not too short or it looks unfeminine and my face looks fat. I long for one good hair day before I die.

    What is a Rachel 2012?

    Anita, my friends connection isn't working either. It did yesterday, so I think maybe the solar storm killed it.

  17. Coming in late here, but what an illuminating conversation. I guess I'm a pear face....don't care for pears. Got my hair done last week after 7 months. Chopped off about 5 inches. This time I went to a pro as the last one was at a beauty school ~ never again. Especially before headshots, had to go back for a repair job.


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