Sunday, November 8, 2009
Wrestling With God
Okay. I'll be honest. I've been struggling lately, with a lot of things.
Genesis 32:24-26 Then Jacob was left alone; and a man wrestled with him until the breaking of day. Now when He saw that He did not prevail against him, He touched the socket of his hip; and the socket of Jacob's hip was out of joint as He wrestled with Him. And He said, "Let Me go, for the day breaks."
But he said, "I will not let You go unless You bless me!"
I've spent a lot of time wrestling with God on many issues. I hang on for my blessing. To me that wrestling is tenacity in prayer. But now and then I get tired and I wonder...
O Lord, why do you impose this desire on me?
Why do you torture me with hope
only to bring me to despair of my talent again and again?
Why O Lord in your wisdom do you leave me doubting
when it was you who led me to this place, that fork in the road, REMEMBER?
And I thought I took the road you directed me to travel when it came to
pursuing my purpose here, your purpose for me.
But it appears that you have forgotten my dreams,
while I search for you on a long deserted road.
The road to finding you and my delight in you is obstructed
with broken hearts and hopes.
What have you done with my dreams and plans?
My hopes and passions?
I cannot find my way without your light.
You in me, just we two, Jesus and . . .
the woman at the well?
The men in the fire and the wrestling match till dawn?
What difference will any of it make?
Wrestle and be blessed,
Pray and be heard,
Knock and the door shall be opened,
Ask and you shall receive.
So why then the silence?
Do you feel like you've been wrestling with God lately? What does that look like? What does that feel like? How do you hang on?
Have a blessed Sunday and a blessed week.
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