by Gina Welborn
It's a truth universally known: Men don't understand women. (Oh, some men understand some women, so please take my statement as a generality.) Case in point, haircolor. Which was why last night at 9:06 pm, I drove to Wal-Mart for a box of haircolor. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
See, during dinner hubby asked me what my plans were for tomorrow (which is now today). Clean house, do laundry, print my proposal to take the the workshop I'm attending on Saturday, yada yada yada. He then mentioned the Corvette Club of Richmond was having their annual oyster run. Oooh. Fun. With no children around. I wanted to go. Only problem was we needed a sitter for Child #5 and #3 and 4 once they got home from school. Hubby quickly found one.
So as I was washing dinner dishes, I got to thinking about the gray roots showing atop my head. Now, men as their hair takes on that silver glow become distinguished. Women become old ladies. A few of my girlfriends say they've earned every one of their gray hairs and are gonna wear them proudly. More power to ya!!!
Alas, I'm too vain and shallow to wear any gray hair proudly.
I calculated leaving early Friday morning and returning in the afternoon with having to take chips to the after-football-game fellowship, hubby being gone to film the game, me watching Smallville with the other kids, and me remembering to print my fiction proposals...well, I knew I'd better color my roots tonight (which is now last night) or I'd go to the workshop showing my age. Egad, no!
"There's a reason why forty, fifty, and sixty don't look the way they used to, and it's not because of feminism, or better living through exercise. It's because of hair dye. In the 1950's only 7 percent of American women dyed their hair; today there are parts of Manhattan and Los Angeles where there are no gray-haired women at all." — Nora Ephron
Now I know some women who relish growing old. I'm okay with growing older. I'm okay with growing older gracefully. I merely want to look younger than my age (which is 40 in case anyone was wondering).
Thus I've developed two genius means for fighting aging. Being the generous person I am, I even shared them with my dear friend Angie Breidenbach, Mrs. Montana 2009, since she's writing a devotional about beauty. (You can quote my gems of wisdom, sweetie!)
Gina's Beauty Tips 2010 edition
(1) Don't wash your face daily because the pressure of your hands on your facial muscles and skin causes the elasticity to stretch and weaken. Instead, splash face with warm water and pat dry. And don't feel guilty if you sleep with makeup on. You'll wake up and say, "Wow, I forgot I looked so good naturally." (Who thinks clearly when she first awakens?)
Granted, this may not be the best way to keep one's face clean, but think of the savings on cleansers. And if you use Elizabeth Arden Intervene like I do, that's a heafty savings. Do be sure to use moisturizer daily. Preferably with an anti-aging treatment, too.
(2) Don't smile, frown, or scowl. All cause wrinkles to appear around eyes and mouth and (in the cause of scowling) between eyebrows. Don't raise your eyebrows either because this can cause wrinkles in the forehead. Instead, learn to express emotion by depending on your tone of voice. Let your laughter vibrate from your chest as you keep your face motionless.
Granted, this may give your face a plastic, Stepford Wife look, but think of the savings on botox, chemical peels, and other plastic surgeries to rid those unwanted wrinkles. Whether you use Elizabeth Arden Prevage$$$ or Olay Regenerist$$, you're still spending money. Beauty is an estimated $29 billion business in the United States annually. Blech. Not smiling, frowning, or scowling is faaaaarrrrrr cheaper. Oh, you could be one of those who views wrinkles as beauty marks. More power to ya!!! (See note above about me being vain and shallow.)
Now that I've bared my soul and shared with you my tried-and-true beauty ephipanies, which I'm sure Angie will quote in her next book, I'd like to hear from you. What beauty product do you swear by? I recently bought One 'n Only Argan Restorative Mask for my hair. Wow! Cost about $10. After I'd used it twice, I went to church and a friend asked me what I did differently with my hair. Umm...why? She said it looked "healthy."
I chose to not be offended the implied "it used to look like brown straw" because I knew, sadly, the truth of the imply. *sigh*
Another beauty product I've grown to love is Himalaya Organic Revitalizing Hand and Body lotion ($8). I bought it at Whole Foods because a lady was doing a demo and I'm a sucker for demos. Knowing my weakness, I usually avoid people selling products, but my oldest daughter was with me and she didn't realize I can't say no to demos.
I keep the bottle in my office by my laptop. That way when I notice how dry my hands are, I don't have to go looking for lotion. Plus this kind doesn't leave any greasy feel.
Fun and help-each-other questions of the day:
1. What do you do or don't do to grow old gracefully? (See above.)
2. What beauty product do you swear by? (Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour Cream skin protectant; I keep one in my purse and one in my makeup bag for use on dry lips.)
3. What is your worst or most embarrassing beauty treatment experience? (Mine was right before RWA Nationals in 2007. I was a Golden Heart finalist that year. At the last minute I colored my hair. Ended up leaving it on a wee bit too long, which caused my hair to have a purple-auburn shade. Whoops!)
Now for those who like serious questions...
4. In a society that breeds more comparison-driven insecurity, how do you live, work, serve, or recreate near a woman (or women) who makes you feel tremendously insecure?
"He has made beautiful in its time." ~Eccl. 3:11 (NIV)
I hide my grays under dye also. I remember thinking that when I was older like... forty I'd let the gray do it's thing. Ah, no. I let it go for awhile and my kids kept mentioning it. As long as mom doesn't have gray hair I guess they can't be getting older either? I tell myself it's okay because I keep it my natural hair color (at least what it was 30 yrs ago...) This profile photo was late summer hair. Too light. I prefer it darker myself.
ReplyDeleteThe best beauty treatment is a happy spirit.
I try.
Truth is I just wear glasses to mask the dark circles under my eyes. My splurge is a non-sulfate shampoo.
Ooooh, Deb, I splurge on non-sulfate shampoo too. Helps my haircolor last longer.
ReplyDeleteThe best beauty treatment is a happy spirit.
So true!!!
Loved this, Gina!
ReplyDeleteI JUST started coloring my hair last spring (at 53)--always said I never would. Women like my mother, with dark brown or black hair, can let theirs go gray or white and it looks attractive. With hair like mine (a shade darker than dishwater blond), it only looks BLAH!
Still wrinkled (working on that too), but proud to say I am no longer BLAH! :-)
Oh, Oh, Oh!!! I want to write a devotional for Angie!!! Ever since I went to ACFW and everyone made such a ridiculous fuss about how young I look, I've been planning on writing a devotional on how to stay young inside and out.
ReplyDeleteThis makes it official, I'll do it next Friday as a follow up.
Therefore I won't give my secrets today. But, ha, ha, I will mention in response to Gina's always entertaining post, that I've noticed lately that other than smiling, I don't show a lot of emotion on my face. I'll think I look sad or frustrated and look in the mirror and nothing. I'll think I'm a complete wreck, and I'll look slightly sad.
I actually want to work on that and express my emotions more. When you don't show your feelings, people can't reach out when you need it. Last time I went to church really upset only one woman noticed and said anything to me. I emailed her later to let her know how much that meant to me.
Have you seen the ad for the latest foundation? It comes with a ROLLER. Somehow the guys from the paint industry have wormed their way into cosmetics. A little spackle, a little primer, roll on some color.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite beauty blunders all involved hair color. Like the time I attempted to do frosted highlights. Remember the Barbie whose scalp rotated so she could be blond or brunette? Yeah. That was me. Husband was very unhappy when I called his pager and said I had an "emergency." He told me a hair color disaster did NOT constitute an emergency.
Or the time I bought a box of color because the name contained the word "copper" and I was having a copper craving. Instead of being auburn, like the picture, I came out Lucille Ball orange. Fun. Especially when you live 45 minutes from the nearest store that sells hair color!
I forgot to answer the embarassing question. I used to color my hair a lot, anywhere from blonde, to copper, to light golden brown. Blondes just tend to get dishwatery and dark as they get older.
ReplyDeleteUntil...one day I put light golden brown in my hair and got involved in a writing project. When I went to wash it out my hair was WITCH BLACK. Someone had switched the color in the box!!!
I rushed to the store to buy remover and it turned about half the hair some sort of burnt orange. Plus, I had left out some blonde strands in the front for highlights. I kept it in a bun until I could get it fixed and it almost looked like some sort of funky hair color I had done on purpose. The professional stylist actually liked all three colors on me, although there was no rhyme or reason to where the color was.
It cost over $200 to fix the destruction from a $10 box of haircolor. My hair was so damaged I cut it all short 6 months later. Now I will only do highlights on myself.
I agree on the dishwater blonde aspect! Silver and gold do not make a nice color combo on hair. My roots are half white half dark blonde. Maybe I'll just go platinum? ha ha.
ReplyDeleteI will say that now that it appears my granddaughter is going to have the same kind of hair as mine I am practicing "no complaints'. I have this idea that if I get a better attitude about mine maybe she won't hold it against me to have inherited golden brillo pad hair...
Gina, thank you so much for sharing your beauty secrets. You really do look terrific!
ReplyDeleteI once put henna on my hair (even though they say not to if you have colored previously) and it turned an unattractive shade of green...
I blame my "distinguished" nose for all of my beauty problems- I am so thankful that my girls got my husbands nose and my boys got my height!!! The Lord is so good.
What a hoot, Gina! Okay so my beauty tip for looking younger: powder your brows to keep them looking a little darker. Reason? As we age, our brows lighten and get sparse. You'll be shocked at how it adds a youthful dimension to your face. How? I'm a dark brunette. I use either a dark brown/black eyebrow powder or in a pinch I use eye shadow. The brush should be a stiff, small angle eye brow applicator.
ReplyDeleteNow add a highlight right under the brow with white, pink, or cream colored eye shadow.
Cheapest, best way to shed 10 years off your look ever!
What beauty product do you swear by? My eyebrow powder :-)
What is your worst or most embarrassing beauty treatment experience? When I let another girl pluck my bushy brows for the first time. She plucked them into a single hair line. I looked like a cartoon! (I was junior high age.)
In a society that breeds more comparison-driven insecurity, how do you live, work, serve, or recreate near a woman (or women) who makes you feel tremendously insecure? I find out her needs, insecurities, or fears and minister to her. We become sisters rather than competitors.
I'm totally honored here, Gina, and Dina, I'd love to see what you come up with :-)
Angie Breidenbach
Sandi, I got to thinking about shades of hair and gray, and I decided that women with black hair can pull off the salt-n-pepper look. Mine is medium brown so gray makes it dingy. I suppose kinda like how gray in dishwater blonde would look dingy. Hmmm.
ReplyDeleteDina, I'm looking forward to your follow-up post. In fact, let Angie know and maybe she'll quote you in her devotional. :-)
ReplyDeleteNow as far as wanting to show MORE emotion on your face...did you not read my post?! While people will know how your feeling more, they will also see deepening wrinkles. My advice is wear a nametag with your emotional moood listed.
OR OR OR...
Better yet, when someone asks "how are you?" be honest and tell them how you're feeling.
Years ago I decide I was done with the token "hi, Gina, how are you?" tossed out while the person keeps walking on. If you ask me how I am, I'm gonna tell ya. Which is why many people at church who know me don't ask me how I am...unless they really want to know.
Case in point, a couple weeks ago, our children's minister walked with me down the hall to the elevator. When she asked how I was doing, I said, "Not so good. I didn't sleep well last night."
She answered, "Why?"
"I'm guessing because I knew I had to get up early to go to church."
:-)
Of course, because of my avarice toward token "how are you" questions, I also don't ask if I don't want to know.
Now since you are determined to facially express your emotions more, I advise slight movements of facial muscles instead of exaggerated ones. When the muscles work less, they're more relaxed and happy. Kinda like me and exercise. :D
Okay, Niki, I laughed at you. Twice. Then I empathized because hair disasters ARE emergencies. Again, men don't understand these things. Then again, a man who's balding without his permission is more likely to understand the drama of hair catastrophes.
ReplyDeleteI had blonde highlights several years ago. My oldest daughter was 6 at the time. She said I looked like Barbie, which for her was the greatest compliment. For me, not so much. Four months later I went back to medium ash brown.
Oh, Dina. I did not laugh at your disaster. $200!?! Eeeks.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you use to do your highlights? A cap? Or foil?
Hubby notice a spot of gray on the top of my head that I somehow missed coloring. I think I'm gonna have to teach my oldest daughter how to color my roots so I don't miss any again.
Deb, I think golden blonde hair has got to be the hard to know when to color. My m-i-l used to have golden blonde hair and kept it that color until the last ten years. It's slowlly becoming more gray-blonde. Not quite the shine of silver. Not yellow enough for blonde.
ReplyDeleteHowever, since we're talking your hair, I love your yellow curls. :-)
Kudos, Cheryl, for defining your nose as "distinguised." Next time one of my kids comments on the size of my hiney, I'm gonna say, "It's not big, it's distinguisable." They'll probalby response, "Yeah, distinguishable from a mile away." *sigh*
ReplyDeleteI remember seeing a picture of actress Jennifer Grey after her nose job. My thought was, "That's not her." But then I looked at her eyes and jaw line. Yep.
Her but not her.
Who would have thought a nose job would so drastically change a person's appearance to make her almost unrecognizable?
Angie, you make a great point about eyebrows. I went to an Elizabeth Arden Red Door event at Dillard's (hey, it's a free facial), and the makeup guy (Alexis) explained the benefits of adding a little color to one's eyebrows to "fill in" the empty spots. Now I didn't have the right kind of brush nor was gonna pay the price for the EA one. So I went to CVS and bought an inexpensive one. What a difference a little brown eyeshadow brushed on the eyebrows makes!
ReplyDeleteOnly thing is you have to be careful about the shade of shadow you use. I have to use a medium brown shade, not the darker brown or my brows look almost black. Odd but true.
Angie told me about this website called Beauty Trends, where one can buy hair pieces. Yes, the wigs are a bit much, but the scrunchie is amazing. The only reason I haven't bought any is I'm not sure what shade to buy. 10R (I think that's it) is color the scrunchie Angie showed me, but it's took dark brown/black for my hair.
I need to just buy a few to find the right shade.
Noses: Mine used to be crooked until I broke it while running. (Long story; don't ask.) Insuance payed for the nose job. Straight nose now.
ReplyDeleteNo wrinkles: Stay out of the sun. I don't care if tanned is hip. Tanned also promotes driness and wrinkles. I don't tan; I crisp. So I wear SPF 50-70 when I go into the sun, and not even my hair dresser knows my age. I cheerfully admit that I lie, but when you're married to a man who is much, much younger than you, you sort of have to.
Skin Care products: I have sensitive skin, so wear Origins. It's owned by Estee Lauder, but is all natural. Olive oil bases and plant essential oils. Since I am a firm believer in aroma therapy, I dig this use of nature. Result: smooth and nearly wrinkle-free skin.
Hair: I pay someone to do it. Gray to white hair runs early in my family. From the moment my mom--of course it was mom--noticed my first gray hairs, I started coloring my hair. Problem is, every time I move, the next hair dresser has her own ideas of what it should be and gives me that color regardless of what I say. Currently I'm blonde. That was my natural color until I reached puberty, when it turned auburn, so I'm going through my second childhood.
About other women making me feel insecure? Well, when you can't see them, you don't really know how they look, so don't feel insecure about it. I do have some advantages. And the hip Oakley sunglasses are to protect my eyes that have too many surgeries to stand to be in light. Covers up the inherited bags beneath them.
Okay, I do both those eye tricks Angie mentioned, except I use a brow pencil in khaki. I also put that light shadow in the corner of my eye near my nose.
ReplyDeleteGina, pull through cap, and I have enlisted my daughter and even my husband to pull the hair in the back through when I do the whole head.
Oh dear, I don't even know if I belong here. I don't colour my grey. I can't say I'm in love with it but with tailbone length hair (another big no-no for someone my age I know) I made the decision to stay away from hair dyes. So if I look like I've let myself go, it's because I've made a conscious decision to look this way!
ReplyDeleteThe one beauty product I can't live without? Actually most of my favourite beauty products come from my kitchen. Brown or demerra sugar or oatmeal makes the best facial scrub for little cost and I use eggs, yoghurt and oil on my hair (I know I sound like a freak now). But for my skin I really love pure shea butter.
Now, I just have to practice my vocals so that I can keep my face still when expressing emotion and so avoid anymore of those dreaded wrinkles.
Thanks for the tips, Gina.