Thursday, December 24, 2009

'Twas Two Weeks Before Christmas - A Poem

A Poetic Offering from Jen AlLee

I love Christmas. I love the spiritual aspect of Christ entering the world as a baby. And I love all the fun, frivolous stuff, too.

Every year, I write a Christmas newsletter. When the spirit moves me, I try to include a poem. Here's one I wrote in 1994. We were still living in Southern California and my son was just over a year old. One of our favorite things to do was head to the mall, eat at the food court, and then wander around. But this particular evening was unlike any before or since.

'Twas Two Weeks Before Christmas
by Jennifer AlLee

‘Twas two weeks before Christmas
and as I recall,
our family decided
to go to the mall.

We put on our sweatshirts
and bundled up Billy.
In our Honda we drove
to the mall willy-nilly.

We ate a good dinner
and then walked around.
When we grew tired,
we were then exit-bound.

But to our amazement,
our shock and dismay,
we found big metal doors
were blocking our way!

And then, from the depths
of the mall came a booming,
a rumbling bass of a voice
that was calling.

We looked over the railing
to the bottom floor
to try and discover
what the commotion was for.

And what did our
wondering eyes then see,
but Santa Claus
declaring an emergency!

“Move to the northern exits,”
he called.
“There’s been a bomb threat,
get out of the mall!”

We turned on our heels
and made our way out
while Santa continued
to gesture and shout.

We jumped in our car
and drove away quickly,
with thoughts of explosions
making us feel slightly sickly.

I’m happy to say
it was all just a prank,
a threat made by someone
dumber than an all-beef frank.

So when you’re in the mall
this holiday season,
if Santa starts shouting
he might have a good reason.

A merry Christmas to all our readers and your families. May your holiday be blessed, joyous, and bomb-scare free!


  1. Hey Jen,
    That was creative.:) I avoid the mall as much as possible in the crowded seasons.

    Have a wonderful Christmas Eve everyone.

  2. Thanks. My day was already starting out in too serious a mood.
    (okay, a bomb threat in a mall is not exactly vaudeville but . . . )
    Jen--I got a good laugh out of your clever prose!

    sort of like that famous poem with the lines:
    away to the window, I flew like a flash, tore open the shutters and threw up on the sash.
    I mean, who would write such a thing?

    Merry Christmas to all and to all a good write!
    . . I hope you all aren't up tonight wrapping presents!

  3. Funny, makes me want to stay home today :)

  4. Thanks, Jen! You are so creative, and I can't get the "all-beef frank" quip out of my head. What an experience!

    I'm with you, Dina. I have some good coupons for Bath & Body Works that expire today, but I am not going within a mile of the mall. We're making a gingerbread village instead. Nice and bomb-threat free, I hope. It'll be messy enough without an explosion.

    I got a new tea blend -- herbal bags, by Stash -- called Christmas Eve. I love it, and not just b/c of the appropriate name. I lift my mug to you all. Merry Christmas Eve! God bless you!

  5. Hey Ladies,

    Good to see you all this lovely Christmas Eve morning. I'm not going to the mall today either, but it's because of all the crazy crowds, not a fear of explosive devices. Believe it or not, that experience has become one of our most beloved holiday memories. Can you tell we are far from a traditional family???

    My son and I are venturing out today to have lunch with family who are in town on vacation, then hopefully off to see A Christmas Carol while it's still in theaters. May you all have tons of fun whatever you do!

  6. Very cute poem and just in time for Christmas Eve here at my house. Thanks a lot.

  7. Cute poem, Jen! Merry Christmas to all the Inkies and the Inky readers.

  8. Hey Jen, I've heard so many versions of The Night Before Christmas but I think I'll always remember this one the best. Excellent job with the meter and rhyme. Thank you.


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